


earl grey

by fleurescent



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Coffee Shops, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:05:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3306692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurescent/pseuds/fleurescent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in another world it's still the same but he appears as an angel in coffee shop and seeing him makes the feeling of a burnt tongue go away</p>
            </blockquote>





	earl grey

It is their first time going on a date together.

                The silence is choking them both but they continue to suffocate. The rest of the room is drowning with the prose of lovers speaking their words as sweet as the over expensive lattes they buy. Or it’s the obnoxious teenagers spilling out laughs. They both listen to the conversations, knowing every secret and detail about every character in the room. They catch glimpses of their stories, but Kaworu still doesn't know Shinji's, and Shinji don’t know Kaworu's.

                 Shinji doodles on brown paper napkins imagining that he is at home in the company of his own self, free to do as he pleases. Coffee shops aren't romantic; neither is the stoic date brought along.

                When he speaks, it is like a wind stirring up leaves. “How are you?”

                Shinji mocks him with an obtuse grin and show him his tea cup. “I am Earl Grey.”

                Kaworu stares down at the ivory in front of him and doesn’t question Shini's words. Fascinated, Shinji asks him if he would like to come back tomorrow. His answer has no delay and he finds myself with another date in his near empty agenda

-

                Shinji bargains them a table stained with rings. He tells Kaworu he thinks it looks like polka dots and he just nods and sits down. Shinji get their drinks and whistles a nameless composition. He returns and hand him his beverage; the steam fogs his face. There isn’t a flinch or any sort of reaction to the heat.

Shinji is tempted to throw his scorched cup at him to see if he actually feels pain.

                Kaworu repeats a question that he had been waiting for. “How are you?”

                Shinji shows him the label of the tea bag and it reads Earl Grey again.

                “Are you always Earl Grey?”

                “I have my days where I am something different.”

                Shinji doesn’t tell him about the amount of sugar he puts in also means something. He just dons a smile and proposes himself into conversation that means as much as the dust floating between them.

-

                Today he orders something floral.

                Kaworu asks him why there is a change.

                Shinji's laugh is self-deprecating. He tells him that he  _hopes_  he feels floral today because his writing is never as frilly or melodic as the tea he drinks. He explains that he just chokes up forced emotions and scratches them onto paper in hopes that it makes sense. He tells him he thinks most people’s words are wasted and without meaning.

                Kaworu then asks if the flavors he chooses have as much meaning as he makes them appear to. Shinji questions himself and wonder if they really do.

 

-

                Today Shinji orders water and when he asks him my favorite question, he tells him he doesn’t know how he feels.

                Shinji apologizes for being bland. Kaworu tells him it is okay. Shinji erupts.

                Shinji's thoughts ooze through his mouth and leak out the words he suppressed. He tell hims he thinks he will spend his life being alone and feeling slightly bitter, growing flowers from empty tea cups, hoping something pleasing buds. That like in the poetry he forces there will be some sort of symbolism from the blossom.

Shinji confesses that his thoughts are childish but comforting.

 Shinji tells him his attitude towards this future is lukewarm and Kaworu reassures him that lukewarm is better than hot or cold.

-

                Shinji never makes it to the coffee shop.

                The rain rolls his way as he stands on a curb and it decorates him with droplets. He lets it mask every inch of his sorry skin and he finds bliss. Unmotivated to move, people rush past huddled under umbrellas and try to ignore him; a delusional stranger.

                Somehow, Kaworu finds him.

                After being dragged to his quaint apartment, Shinji sits in front of his fireplace, wrapped up in a nest of blankets. Kaworu sits cross legged next to him and asks how he's feeling.

                Shinji tells him he's not.

-

                Shinji spends the whole day staring at a wall, sheltering a vacant tea cup in his paper hands. He does not want to move from the spot, not even if a fire starts or a war is declared.

He tries to sleep so he doesn’t have to think about words or emotions.

 When he wakes, Kaworu is there.

                “How are you?” he asks. For once Shinji dreads the question.

                “As empty as the cup I drown.”

                He pats him on the head in a staccato and takes the china from his hands.

                “What are you doing?” Shinji asks.

                He saunters to the kitchen and places a kettle on the stove. His back is turned to Shinji and he seems to speak words that don’t belong to him. “I hope you are aware you could always just refill it.

                He hands Shinji a new mug with boiling water along with several packets of tea.

                “How are you feeling now?” Kaworu asks.

                Shinji picks Earl Grey but puts three sugar cubes in it.

                “This is how I feel.”

                Kaworu nods because they both know this time his response is genuine.

 

               

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old fanfic  
> i didn't feel like writing something new today because i'm working on my own original content  
> happy first post to me!


End file.
